OK so I've known Tax Season was coming up for some time now. But I put it off again and again, just dreading how broke I'm gonna be after the receipts, statements, and ledgers all float down to the floor. You know...kinda like the feathers in the Duck Hunt game. I had visions of IRS & FTB workers rolling on the floor in laughter when they got my statements and saw that I'm exempt from being exempt...from ANYTHING!
So I finally plowed in, and after weeks of digging through receipts realized, "I don't have enough deductions to itemize. PPPFFFFTTT..." 'wishing I still owned a home' fairies danced through my head ((in stilettos)). BTW my brain still hurts.
Well Sooo I plugged in my numbers into my tax program...I'm at a transition time in my life with the divorce, and my pay increase (that started just right before last year began, how sweet of them)...Wasn't really sure how to file as far as status went. Well I knew I can't do head of household, since the kids are all grown & gone, I had three choices left, I qualified for all, but had to choose one.
I methodically punched in for Single, and then I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. According to my tax program, I owed like almost $600 for federal, and (OMFG PASSES OUT on THE FRIGGIN FLOOR) almost $1200 to the State??? HUH??? Is that even right? So I re-punched the numbers. And YES it was...
OK That didn't work. So I'm really sweating now...punched in the numbers for Married filing Separate, using the ex's dollars from last year...And I might as well have filed Single on that one. So that meant I had to call my ex....A BADDDDD THING. This is never good, talking to him.
It started that he was pissed cause I divorced him...HUH??? WHA??? He filed it...Not me! He coulda' milked it til I caved in & filed for the divorce...So right away I'm freaked out, dealing with a psycho. 'This is gonna be bad' is what I'm thinking. But I hung in dere through all the woulda, coulda, shoulda, I listened through all the false accusations and the stories and scenarios he made up in the last three years we have been apart. and in the end he gave me his tax numbers...so while he's whining about why I divorced him...hehe...I'm plugging numbers into my tax program. I mean, after-all he gave me permission to file joint...Trudge on dear soldier whilst the missiles blow...
HEH HEH HEH....Married filing Joint...DING ding DING...Success!!! Finally some numbers I can live with... I owe $360 Fed & $83 State. Submitted for Efile & paid while he whined on in my ear. You know he called me back every two hours after that? and when I stopped answering the calls he started texting...And he wonders why I have moved twice in the last year...pffftttt
The next morning I had four text messages from him wanting to go over the taxes in person. He wanted me to bring my laptop and go over all the numbers. Like I have time for this. AND as if I would even let him access my computer. I just text him back that I told him it was already Efiled before we hung up, no way was I going over the numbers with him. And I got him a copy of the taxes printed out so he can take it to an accountant to go over if he so wishes. But also that I inked out my address on it, and even if he did look up the address through the IRS he was not welcome to drive by doing his crazy stalking lookey loos and knocking on the door thing, and I can move yet again if needed! *smiles* No response back.
